A Lesson on Obedience

It's probably not what you think.

In the summer of 2007, which was the first real break I had since going to boot camp in 2002, I went on a road trip to all the national parks west of Wisconsin (where I was living then) with one of my best friends. It was not an easy trip, but it was what I needed at the time, and it was the source of many of my greatest lessons and stories. One of which I’d like to share with you.

We had gotten all the way to San Francisco, where we decided that I would finish the rest of the trip home by myself. After having saved a man’s life with CPR at a remote trailhead in the Olympic Peninsula (long story there!), having the car impounded, and later crashing into the only small tree there was to stop us from plunging from a cliff on the scenic highway 1 in Northern California - it was time for my friend to fly home.

And so I went to King’s Canyon, Sequoia, Yosemite, through Nevada, to multiple national parks in Utah, and to Mesa Verde and Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado all on my own - stopping to visit friends and family on the way.

My sister had shared some Andy Stanley sermons with me, which I had put on my ipod, and I had plenty of driving time to listen to them.

So I was listening to a sermon series called "it came from within" and came across something that really rang my bell.

https://drive.google.com/.../0B487M8KEkpHZX0h2WDhSQ2thdmM...

I was only 22 at the time, and had already been weighed down by many regrets. I had taken advantage of people through deceit, theft, abandonment and my own selfishness - and had “gotten away” (but not really) with a lot more than I knew I deserved, while friends of mine had suffered much more for much less.

What struck me about Andy Stanley at the time was his lack of shame - he was twice my age and my shame was nearly crushing me! “How could he,” I thought, “possibly be so free?”

In the second sermon in the series, “Luring Them Into the Open,” I heard this:

“Part of your struggle if you’re carrying a load of guilt, is that you want so desperately to forgive yourself. You will never, ever, adequately forgive yourself – as long as your guilt is a secret… Until you first confess, openly, to the person you stole from.”

I had no trouble at all making a list of about 30 people I had “stolen” from, the problem is that Andy said the remedy is to reconcile with them through confession. As in.. call them on the phone and apologize… which I thought was a very stupid idea!

Why not let sleeping dogs lie? Why stir up old wounds? What good could possibly come from reminding those I’ve wronged of what I had done?

So I wrestled with that for a week or two, until I made it to Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. I was too cheap to get a backcountry pass there, so I just went right outside the park, parked the car for free, and hiked 20 miles up into the mountains in the Roosevelt National forest.

I was there for five days or so, until I woke up early one morning to a beautifully clear day. So I decided that was the day to climb a mountain a few miles from my campsite. I didn't think it would take more than half the day, so I didn't even wear a shirt - just took a Nalgene bottle of water, some tobacco, and a snack. I had a garmin gps that I had been using for the whole trip, which I left safe and sound in my tent.

It was a rough hike because of the altitude, but when I finally got up there it was beautiful, so I spent some extra time just relaxing and enjoying the panoramic views.

That is until I realized that I had completely forgotten which direction I had come from. So I made a guess and hiked down for about 30 minutes before I realized it was not right. Then I climbed back up and tried again, only to have the same realization.

By that time it was starting to get dark. It had rained the night before so everything was wet, and I couldn't get a fire started. I knew that if I had to spend the night up there, I was in danger of hypothermia. So I found a spruce tree on the side of the mountain, dug a hole with a stick underneath the low boughs, laid in the hole and covered myself with dirt and pine needles for the night.

It was probably about 45 degrees up there and super windy, and I was ready to die.

But I couldn’t shake the conviction that I needed to reconcile with those I had wronged. So I told the Lord that if he got me out of there "quick and easy," I would do whatever he wanted me to do - even though it was obviously a stupid idea and would only add to my regret.

I got up at dawn without having slept at all, brushed the dirt and pine needles off of my bare and now stinky torso, and climbed back up the mountain. When I got to the top I prayed - feeling more than a little sorry for myself - fully expecting to spend the whole day wandering in search of my campsite.

But when I said “amen,” lifted my head and opened my eyes - I could literally see my tent in the distance. A facepalm moment for sure!

So I made a beeline straight for my campsite, ate some food and took a nice long nap in my cozy sleeping bag. The next day I packed it all up and promptly hiked the 20 miles back to the car, and went straight to Popeye's chicken. I had no intention of breaking my end of the bargain.

It was my 23rd birthday, August 9th 2007. I got myself a family meal, which I still remember as one of the best meals I’ve ever had - pulled out my list of names, and started making phone calls to those I had wronged in all kinds of ways. Starting, of course, with an ex that I was sure hated me. Part of me was hoping that her response would vindicate my reticence, so that I could stop making these stupid calls and focus on my meal.

Wouldn't you know it, I could not have been more wrong - she forgave and then actually apologized to me!

All the way down the list of about 30 people, every single one of them forgave me and many of them also asked for my forgiveness. It was really a huge paradigm shift for me - it was exactly the opposite of what I was convinced would happen.

When I tried to keep my regrets a secret, I could barely carry them! But when I laid them on the altar of obedience, they blew away like smoke.

This was the first time I obeyed something from the Lord that I didn’t agree with. And I began to see clearly that whatever my agreement had led me to do before that - it was a lie to call it obedience.

I learned that the best opportunities to follow Jesus are the ones that make the least sense in the moment - that the biggest breakthroughs happen on the other side of humility. That lesson is all over the place in the Bible (lean not on your own understanding!), but I had to experience it myself.

The walls of Jericho, the nets full of fish, and miracle after miracle - they all required obedience. And if those people were anything like me, they probably obeyed just to prove God wrong. And like me, their minds were blown by His faithfulness!

Of course, that was long ago in my journey, and I still have many personal regrets since I learned that lesson. But I have always made an effort to reconcile when possible, even though I’ve taken many detours which have time and again proven to be dead ends. If any of you are holding anything against me, please give me the chance to apologize! I may not be able to make it right, but I might be able to help you overcome your resentment.

And for those of you whose secrets are weighing you down with shame, who have never been able to fully forgive yourselves, please take heart from what I’ve shared.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness!” And “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

It’s simple, but not easy - just remember that obedience is the key to freedom!

(How else can the lies that bind us be revealed?)

In any event, consider the parts of scripture that bug you the most. Pay attention to where you are making excuses. These are the symptoms of conviction - and your breakthrough is knocking at the door! What are you waiting for, really?

I urge you to obey - especially when it doesn’t make sense - so that the Lord may be proven faithful in your attempts to prove him wrong.